Just as I don’t like to start off a play session giving an extended laundry list of things to please not do during a spanking (I usually limit it to please don’t spank my thighs, please don’t touch my lady bits, and please don’t use degrading terms and see how things go), it feels a bit unnatural to ask the spanker a million questions about his or her preferences. Whether it’s at a big party, a friendly get together, or a private session, there’s always going to be a first time and the expected awkwardness.
It’s certainly not just about my enjoyment, but the enjoyment of the spanker and I want to play in a way that suits him as long as that’s within my comfort level. But short of asking him to complete a questionnaire, I suppose the only way to find out is along the way in play.
It can get a little confusing though when taking on roles during play. The spanker, in the role of strict top, may say one thing when really hoping for another.
For example:
What the spanker says:
Pixie: Oww oww oww! *kicks wildly*
Spanker: Keep those feet on the floor, young lady!
What the spanker thinks:
Pixie: Oww oww oww! *kicks wildly*
Spanker: Hope she keeps kicking so I have a reason to take down her panties.
Of course if you dictate every detail of the interaction, that’s not going to be very fun for either person. So since neither spankers nor spankees are psychic, how do you achieve the key elements of a good scene without belaboring every last detail and sucking the life out of the interaction? Thought this might be a good question with this being the season for spanking parties and therefore lots of first time meets and play coming up.